Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops