Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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Chris is hairy

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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