What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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