are you saying pam, or pan?

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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