Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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binladin walks into the american seals

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops