Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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What is the difference?

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops