Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops