Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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So a seal walks into a club.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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