Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Everybody will die

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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