Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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