Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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