A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Are you gay. No. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is square and grey? A grey square.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +15

the sky is green no it is not

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops