Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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What is a holocaust survivors favorite food nothing

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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