If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops