What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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