Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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I'm Polish.

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's the worst thing about gang rape? Going last.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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