Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

www.hurr-durr.com

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops