a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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