Detroit has a low crime rate

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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