Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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