They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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THE GAME

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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