I'm going as the joker for halloween

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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