what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops