What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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I'm Batman.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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