- Anti Joke

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

Barack Obama.

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

knock knock whos there? nobody

your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS