Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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FUCK THE JEWS

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

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The man and the women were doing something. What are you looking? They just talked

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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i had a black friend once......just kidding

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YOLO You only like Oreos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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