why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worse than torture? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops