Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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