What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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