I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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