There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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Knock knock.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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