3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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