Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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Title IX

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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A black man walks out of a police station

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops