How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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Matthew Baker

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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