Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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No it doesnt..

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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why did the black man sit in the back of the bus? becouse all the seat where taken in the front

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops