My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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