Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

Christ is a conspiracy

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

You're so sweet I have diabetes

Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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