Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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