What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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