Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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how man

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops