Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

hi penis ham telephone

"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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