Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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1+2 = 6

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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what do German people eat at BBQ ' s ? burgers and hotdogs and kebabs and fried chicken with a garnish of summer salad washed down with a cold mouth tingling glass of coca cola and jews

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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