a man was shot.... he died

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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