What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

Feminism

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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