Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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What's better than being rich? Not living in Kenya.

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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