What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

i like it in the mouth

What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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