Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

will you like this joke my sources say no

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

thumb_up thumb_down -29

yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Heskey time.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

kk

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops