What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops