Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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