If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

Knock knock Whose there? 4

there square amphibious wood gum flag homos CC

How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

penis. nuff said.

i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

Ring Ring Hello? Click

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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