About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Your gay

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops