A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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