go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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what do you call a white and black girl 69? ying yang

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womens rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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