like this or you will die at some point in your life

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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